My heart is bleeding!
Posted 06-05-2008 at 04:54 PM by LightYagami
Why? This is the only word running through my head for the last 3 hours... I have just lost someone very dear to me, someone who I was dating, and planned to marry. She didn't die in some tragic accident, but instead, killed my will to rebel, and perhaps feel any kind of emotion for a long, long time. I've never felt such pain, as I planned to spend the rest of my life with this person. I don't know what I did wrong, only that this is somehow my fault. I've decided to fix my ****ed up life, at least whatever is left of it. I'm planning on spending little time on the computer, and bettering myself. My theory, ahe left me to rot, because, I have never deserved her. I don't deserve anyone! My life is going nowhere, and I just feel like dying. I just wish it wasn't so painful! I have always thought myself to be above feelings, such as love, but I'm not. No one is! I can barely type this blog, I have already had sever convulsions, each one worse than the last. I think I was going nowhere in my life, and the reason she went on her way, is I'm not worthy! I don't think anyone even cares about me anymore. Hell, why should they, maybe I should just drop off the face of the planet... But I can't think this way, got to stay positive! That's the reason I've decided to turn my life around. I'm giving up soda, looking for a new "Soul Mate", and losing weight. As soon as I feel healthy enough, I'm going to start exercising! I'm sorry to report this means spending less time on the computer. Sorry fellow internet buddies, looks like I'm not going to be very active anymore, maybe spending an hour a day, if that. It's not like anyone cares anyways, but I'll see ya around... maybe. Who knows? My friends have each told me that I'm over-reacting, and she has mentally scared me... But that was already known to me, or I wouldn't be throwing up every 4 seconds.
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Comments
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You can get through it... there was a man created for every woman and a woman created for every man. You gotta get over it and find that right person for you.Posted 06-05-2008 at 05:00 PM by cosmeo3000
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Lol,you need to psychiatric help before you harm yourself.You might have bipolar disease o_o'.Posted 06-05-2008 at 09:21 PM by Ken
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